Grief is not relatable. It is not on or off, black or white, good or bad. It is necessary, but sometimes not. We all do it differently. Some with great outward displays, some quietly as days go bad. A flash bang, a quiet ache, a nagging sense your universe is off kilter. They are all equal and right and difficult.
Grief is not like anger or joy, which can be derived from many things unrelated and shared among others. We may experience the same loss, in exactly the same manner and have no concept of how the other is grieving. Because grief is not love, freely given to heal and comfort. We can give love and offer comfort and provide no relief.
So, grieve when. Grieve when you are sad they’re gone. Grieve when you are happy they were there. Grieve when you see the picture, wear the shirt, read the prayer that touches your soul as they did. Grieve when you can and when you must.